Sunday, February 13, 2011

Nothing Else Better to Do - Deja Vu?

(edited with video :) )

What do you do when you have nothing to talk about? Keep talking about the same old stuff again and again and again I guess? No more new ideas? Give up on thinking? Nothing left to contribute?

Here's a list of things a wannabe blogger can talk about to keep your number of visitors up:

1. Pretend that there is an issue to talk about. Better still, pretend that someone is attacking you and then you are fighting back. This way, you can pretend to be the knight in shining armor to save the realm against the forces of evil and capture the holy grail and so on and so forth. Or maybe you are "Spaceman Spiff" from the Calvin and Hobbes comic fame.



2. If you find yourself imagining too many enemies? Fighting against overwhelming odds? Never fear! Just pretend that all your attackers are actually just one fool. If you imagine hard enough, it will be so. You can also imagine that your backup has arrived. Pretend that your allies have arrived and now you are able to fight back the imaginary demon.


"You shall not pass!!" - Gandalf the Grey, Lord of the Rings, the Fellowship of the Ring


3. Once you begin to believe that you allies have formed a large enough group, you can then pretend that you are winning the imaginary battle that you create in your head. Then crush your "enemies" to satisfy your bloodlust. "You insignificant little insects!!" Everybody loves a good show.

4. When you really run out of ideas? Why not google up some random quotes? Then post it. Then ask your readers to think on it. That should buy you some time to invent your next story.

5. When you're really bored and can't find a way to increase your visitor count, pick on someone innocent and drag his face through the mud for the world to see, Gladiator style. That should entertain them. Even if they are not entertained, at least they will pay attention to you.

"Are you not entertained?" - Maximus Decimus Meridius, the Gladiator


6. Looks like I am running dry. Never mind. I shall post a link of someone who links someone else.

7. Repeat steps 1 through 6 every single day. You are bound to increase your hit rate significantly.

I am a frequent reader of the New York Times online (don't ask me why I read the New York Times), and I frequently visit the blog written by Nobel Prize-winning economist, Paul Krugman. He averages 3.5 posts in one day.

He discusses economic issues around the world and very often suggests policy measures for his blog readers to discuss. Some of us might think that he is wasting his time. After all, he is just a professor and has no hand in actually implementing any policy in the US or the Eurozone. But he does them anyway. I guess when you're that good at something, you should probably keep on doing what you do best.

Only a delusional real estate agent would try to give advice on the stock market.

The reason I brought up Paul Krugman was because despite his busy schedule, he manages an average of 3.5 posts in one day. What I was shocked to discover was that, some Malaysian "chess" blogger is averaging 5.2 posts a day, more than Paul Krugman.

So in awe, and admiration, I went deep undercover to decipher the secrets of coming up with new ideas to blog about, and the above seven points is most definitely the easy (and probably the best) way that I have managed to come up with to increase your hit counter.

Oh wait, my IT-specialist just informed be that you can fix the hit counter to show whatever number you want. So actually, you can pretend that you have readers. Arghh... all this research for nothing.

Disclaimer: The above research is copyrighted material and all of its intellectual property rights are protected. The examples used above may or may not be fictional, but are used for illustrative purposes anyway. I trust that my sources have done their due diligence as I am no expert in their fields of work. Any reference to a real person or entity could be purely intentional, but quite likely to be coincidental.

27 comments:

  1. I hope everybody is reading this and understood the real message under all that satire. Oops, does this mean I promoted your blog. but it is not slanderous....

    ReplyDelete
  2. I assure you I am just an observer and not one of the "warring parties". IMHO, all the parties are, to some extent, guilty of provocation. However, I find the way Raymond Siew keeps on posting repeatedly on the same issues utterly distasteful. He just refuses to stop although from reading his blog, I find few, if any, supporters for his views. He keeps on saying he spoke to parents, but I see no parent writing in to support him. I can only venture a guess that his vengeful blog is alienating readers like me.You can only talk bad about others just so many times and after a while those words will backfire.

    I have come across chess parents like Mrs Chen of Royal Selangor Pewter (Chen Tien Yue), Mr & Mrs Wong (Audrey Wong), Yeoh Chin Seng (Yeoh Li Tian), Eddy Fong (Fong Yit Hao & Yit San), Mr Subramainiam (Sumant), Colin (Olivier), Dr Foudzi (Siti ) and many others. None of them has shown such open "aggression" like Raymond Siew to promote their children. I understand how a chess parent feels especially if he has high hopes for his off-spring, but it is a different matter if one has to antagonise the chess community, because in the end it is likely Mark Siew will have to bear the consequences of his father's thoughtless actions. Has Raymond Siew considered his son's feelings?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Look at what's happened to Gata Kamsky today and you'd know how big the damage is caused by his father Rustam.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Please John, Kamsky is a different kettle of fish altogether. And the parents mentioned by the earlier comments are of different upbringing. Its normal for people to response to provocation but this provocation is so crude and repeated with so much spin that lies because too obvious for even casual readers. This good for nothing Raymond has nothing better to do and finds enjoyment doing it. I definitely keep my distance, not physically as I dont fear conman bullies or crooks, but sharing of thoughts with this innerchild boy

    ReplyDelete
  5. John, can elaborate further what you mean by your comment?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Raymond Siew is one of the nicest guys i know,and y'all are defacing him.ROT IN HELL.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ramon sial is rasis means he's nice but only to some people

    ReplyDelete
  8. Nice to his son maybe, and to one parent maybe the parent is himself maybe

    ReplyDelete
  9. I don't think he is racist. Let's just stick to the facts and not go down to his level. Or else, you will just give him more stupid things to talk about. As it is, he is irritating enough.

    ReplyDelete
  10. All parties were definitely guilty of provocation; that's how fights begin.

    But Raymond has no interest in a ceasefire. Rationality has stopped talking about this issue, and Jimmy has stopped too. Raymond, on the other hand, continues to write and says that the "truth" will be posted soon, i.e. he's not interested in a truce.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You make the assumption that this is a fight. The fight is imaginary. No one is fighting or is trying to fight.

    Please refer to above post for ways that Raymond is trying to increase his hit count. His latest post, "Why is FGM attacked? Part 1" is exactly what I stated in No.1. Sound familiar?

    ReplyDelete
  12. The problem is he is rasis, did he really apologise to MAS? He insinuated certain other players for entry through petronas because he is a Malay. He also shout and curse a Peter Long .Hmmm maybe he dislike humans? He accuse PICA people of arrogance and corruption and more. He accuse MCF and Greg of abuse. Even Hamid did escape his abuse b4 he left the scene . Of course Jimmy is a liar to him but he did come with any evidence, and so is John Wong for whatever reason is also wrong . A Abdoos whoever he is also get shot down, in his blog of course. and everybody else is a liar and manipulative.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Of all things, he is definitely not racist. Do not understand why you say so. Kind of funny when he asked Jimmy Liew to approach Dato Tan when Jimmy is probably his sworn enemy on the Net. Kind of funny again when he wished Mas the best after he brought up the "thrown game" matter. Kind of funny when he claimed he didn't know of other tounaments outside Perak some time ago when he was the selection chairman of PICA. I think the Fong siblings are from Perak, so it is kind of funny when he claimed that his son is the ONLY Perak junior player to have some measure of success. Doesn't he know Fong Mee Yen is National WC? Unless of course it is kind of funny I am mistaken Eddy Fong is from Perak.

    ReplyDelete
  14. He only considered male chess players. fong mi yen is girl player so he dont take into account. or probably he dont know who Mi Yen is :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. The Perak MSSM u-18 team won gold while mark went to asean.

    ReplyDelete
  16. So anything that does not further the interest of his son is not his concern - like girl players, or selection be given to ambitious but weak young players, oops is 17 yr young? Ok , he'll put up a case that GM need not start young but can also happen at 17, and not to sound too obvious even older like Jimmy.

    Interesting to note Perak u-18 took the gold, without mark. So greg take note, look at record and look at these players too who have performed. By the way how was this mark performance in asean? Is he gm material?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Eddy is from Perak and his kids were tops in Perak before they came to KL

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lets see now, resources like money and time are always limited - between higher rated and younger litian and Mark who should MCF consider? Of course it should be mark - over to you ramon

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kind of funny we have this bloke in our midst. Kind of funny he could lose his job doing contract work. Kind of funny he claims to be guru of inner child when he is really in need of one. But it is not funny when he poke fun of other races

    ReplyDelete
  20. He has stopped spewing racist remarks because we stopped him early from doing so. But he is a racist all the same. Take caution when you speak with him because he will twist your words and more

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jimmy,
    Although I would not equate Gata's talent to Mark Siew's, however the parental protectiveness is apparent in both Rustam and Raymond. Both are parents wanting the best for their children and see the world at large trying to harm their children's potential.But what good does it do going on this warpath? Surely the child's psyche will be affected in all this bickering.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I see but I did not mean you thought that Mark could equate to Gata. Where did that come from? :) I was just asking about the last word in your sentence "Look at what's happened to Gata Kamsky today".

    Rustam created a lot of tension around Gata. Its just the sort of person he is. We can see similarity today in the form of Danailov and Topalov perhaps in a lesser degree.

    In a sense, Rustam destroyed his son's career, as there was animosity towards Gata because of his father. I believe Gata (when he grew up) quit chess because of this (also because of his father).

    ReplyDelete
  23. Yeah comparing our wannabe and Gata is a bad joke. BTW is Rustam a tongue twister and vengeful like our whatshis name?

    Sorry I'll avoiding calling on names too.

    ReplyDelete
  24. From all accounts, he is not a pleasant guy to be around.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Agree with u Jimmy, this whatshisname thinks he knows all and all others knows nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  26. We must reject rascist like Ramon! Read his most recent entry again, he cannot differentiate Malay and Bahasa Malaysia.

    ReplyDelete
  27. He's just one of those with poor EQ - otherwise how do you explain losing job after job, and hurting everybody in contact with him.

    ReplyDelete